FAX FUN

PSYCHIATRIC HOTLINE ANSWERING MACHINE

• If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. 
• If you are codependant, ask someone to press 2. 
• If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. 
• If you are paranoid delusional, We know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call. 
• If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a voice will tell you what to do. 
• If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No One will answer.

1. Place On Firm Surface 
2. Follow Directions Provided in Circle 
3. Repeat Until You Are Anti-Stressed... Or Become Unconscious

STRESSED?

Sharpen your skills in meaningless verbal interaction.

Learn to off-load decisions.

Write volumes of meaningless rhetoric.

Feel important.

Impress your colleagues.

Catch up on your sleep.