Fish:
Bill, we really appreciate you taking the time to be with us today. Is
it allright if we call you Edna?
Edna: Well, actually no.
I only let my wife call me that! Bill will work, or if you must, Mr. CZ.
Fish:
How does it feel to be on the receiving end of the interview for a change?
Edn..er.. Bill: Is that what
this is? Now hold on, where the hell is my agent! ... I'm going to kick
his ass for this one.
Fish:
How do you feel about us stealing your idea to interview internet celebrities
of great web sites?
Bill: I knew I should have
filled out that patent form ... then again, I didn't hear any bitching
from Barbara Walters when I started my interviews. Hey, I think it's great.
There are so many interesting web sites around. Most people, surf to one,
look around, and then head off to another. I came up with the interview
thingy so folks can stop for a minute and see just how really wacky the
site authors are.
Fish:
Yeah, it was a great idea! Glad we thought of it! Speaking of which, how
do you pick who you are going to interview?
Bill: That's a tough one.
I tend to focus on sites that are fairly popular and have interesting original
material. Emphasis on "original." From the site content I can pretty much
get a feel as to whether an interview would be worthwhile ... you know
... snappy responses and such. It tends to suck when all you get are one
word answers to your questions.
Fish:
Yeah, hehehe that would suck hard! Have you ever had anyone who would not
give you an interview?
Bill: No
Fish:
We've noticed a heavy Rod/Twilight Zone feel to your site. Is it true that
Rod actually died of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome from visiting your site?
Bill: What! He's dead!! Jeez
... we're going to have to find out who the hell has been cashing the damn
checks!! Actually, the Twilight Zone theme was an inspiration from Sue
Nim of See Span Run (http://www.seespanrun.com)
She put up a little promo for me starting off with, "Imagine if you will
... " Smiley needed an assistant, so we stole ... oops, I mean borrowed
a few gifs and ran with it. From the feedback so far, Rod is pretty damn
popular ... even if he is dead. I'm sorry. That really was shocking news
... do you have a tissue?
Fish:
Uhh, no, but you can use my shirt sleeve, that's what I use. So what's
it like working with Manly Man, and has it changed you?
Bill: Well, besides all the
empty beer cans around the office, it's been fun. I'm pretty much a sports
boob. On the weekends, it's my wife who sits down in front of the games
... I'm outside cutting weeds, online or fixing something around the house.
My wife would say something about a game she's watching and I'll look at
her and say "That's nice .." After hanging around with Manly, I almost
understand what she's talking about. Only down-side is that he always wants
me to go with him to the local home improvement store. I like power tools
... but there's a limit!
Fish:
We've noticed that you're now more offensive than you used to be...Of course
we like that, and we're proud of you, but how has it affected you?
Bill: You really think so?!
Actually, I try to tone down most of my wise-ass remarks. Every once and
awhile, one slips through, and I get several cancellations from the CZ
Update list. The latest flap was from a company that publishes software.
They listed the Comedy Zone as a user of their product and I had a link
to them from the front page. I was told that several clients and some potential
clients visited and found a reference to homosexuals offensive and they
removed my site listing. The bit was in the Manly Man column ... the twits
- they must have been satire and parody challenged. Of course these days,
you're bound to offend somebody with just about anything you do. I just
wish some people would lighten up a bit and not take everything so serious.
Fish:
How did you come to be teamed up with Mr. Smiley, and why does he get to
do all the fun stuff, and bump elbows with all the celebrities?
Bill: When I found Smiley,
he was a complete wreck - laying in the gutter with some other winos. I
recognized him immediately because I used to have a coffee cup with his
picture on it. I sobered him up, and over some coffee, he told me how everything
had gone down hill for him since the '70s. I told him he needed a new image
and I'd give him a job if he straightened up. He took my offer and the
rest is history. He's just tops in the PR department. By the way ... those
shades he wears ... they're Ray Bans. We're pretty sure the folks who wrote
"Men In Black" got it from us!
Fish:
Man, you get ripped off a lot, huh? Has there ever been anyone (other than
us) who attempted to bribe you for a spot in your favorite balls section?
Bill: You bet! I finally
added "Bribes" to the subject selector on the feedback page.
Fish:
Okay, come clean Bill, was it really your integrity that prevented us from
successfully bribing you, or was it just that $1.40 was not enough of a
bribe?
Bill: Let me put it this
way ... add some more zeros and move that decimal point and we'll talk.
Fish:
Hmmm like .00140? We can't afford THAT! Geesh! Oh, by the way, what happened
with the Rodney Dangerfield thing, and how is it going now?
Bill: The whole Rodney thing
has been a running gag since the first Comedy Zone hit the web. I put up
a little paragraph about how he inspired me to start a web site. About
a week later he actually wrote, thanking me for mentioning him. I thought
it was pretty cool that somebody famous actually checked out my site. I
wrote him back a few more times, told him he received a favorite ball,
but never received a response.
His page has links to sites
that gave him "respect," but even after a year the Comedy Zone was never
mentioned. I started putting up some blurbs on the main page about not
hearing from Rodney in each update. Last month I posted an open letter
to his wife Joan, asking her to see if Rodney would forgive us for whatever
we did. I never actually sent the letter to her ... it was just a funny
bit. So one day I'm checking my email, and there's a message from Joan
Dangerfield! She said Rodney was fine, some stuff about his upcoming movie,
and that she never received the original letter. Well, to make this short,
I faxed her the letter and next thing I know, Rodney puts an enlarged "Comedy
Zone Favorite Ball" gif and link on his page. Rodney is A-OK in my book
... but I'm still waiting for that dinner invitation.
Fish:
What do you do when you're not crawling the web for great sites to hang
your balls on? (no pun intended, if you can believe that)
Bill: Well I used to be a
cop up to a few months ago. After sixteen years of "cuffing and stuffing,"
I decided to start up my own business and see what it was like being a
"normal person" and not pulling shiftwork. Right now I own an internet
consulting and design firm (http://www.bcsdesign.com), dabble with
radio sales, and some PI work.
Fish:
Do you have favorite sites that you frequently visit, or do you stay too
busy looking for new ones to feature?
Bill: Well besides The Funny
Bone .... hmmm ..., I always check out the "Favorite Ball" sites, ... amazing
isn't it? The Favorite Balls just happen to be my favorite sites! The rest
of the time I'm looking for newly listed sites or checking out ones that
people submit.
Fish:
Are you brown-nosing, or mocking me? Ahh nevermind, it's not important.
What exciting new ideas do you have in mind for The Comedy Zone now? (not
that we would steal them or anything)
Bill: I'm toying with possibly
running some contests, and the winner receiving some incredibly valuable
prize ... like a coffee cup or shirt. I'm also considering a separate list
for sites that rip things off from other sites ... what do you think?
Fish:
Yeah, Kewl! A list for sites that rip other sites off! Great idea! I'll
start on that toda.. I mean.. no, that doesn't sound very funny at all.
I think you'd do better just concetrating on what you're doing.
Bill,
we certainly thank you for taking the time out to be with us today! It's
been a real pleasure for us!
Bill: Hey this has been fun
... and, if you don't mind, may I have my pen back?
Fish:
uhhh no. I mean.. what pen?
<*}}><
