What The Heck Is Going ON Here???
by Elvis Shortliver - Editor In Chief
Hi, I'm Elvis P. Shortliver. Please allow me to clear a few things up for everyone. I will do my best to address each and every issue at hand today. First, I want to apologize to all of the search & rescue teams who were out looking for me since last Thanksgiving. I was led to believe that I was being held captive here as a slave, forced to maintain & edit these humor pages, when clearly I could have come & gone as I pleased. Had I known that the Alabama State Police would send the K9 Unit to find me I would never have called them. Sorry. I hope that the dogs enjoy my shoe collection more than I did. You might want to sprinkle them with chicken broth to hide the odor.
Also, please let me say that not only was working HERE at The FunnyBone as my community service assignment, but I had to FOLLOW set instructions too. Once I realized that it was a HUMOR web site, things went a bit more smoothly. Those of you who happened to see all the FREE PORN on here & want more, please contact FREEPORN@thefunnybone.com & let us know how much money you have. The farmers will be happier in the long run, now that we have that straightened out & continue to provide you with top notch humor, jokes, & other oddities. What the heck was I thinking? You can't sell vegetables through the internet! Oops, did I say free PORN? I meant free CORN.
Lastly, and leastly, I have bloodied my
hands night after night, sometimes on purpose, working in this shack, reading
jokes, responding to hate mail, trying to hack my way into the official
Better Business Web Site. So please take a look at some of the newest additions
to the Funnybone which we have listed so conveniently below:
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