When I woke up last night in a cold sweat, It took me more than a few minutes to realize that it had been a nightmare. And it wasn’t the kind that you just shake off, turn-over and go back to sleep with. This one I would remember vividly. Let me share it with you.

My wife had just gone into labor. We rushed to the emergency room at F. Lee Bailey Memorial Hospital to get our first of three estimates for "Childbirth, imminent, no complications." The Emergency Room Physician/Appraiser estimated that $300,000 would be sufficient if we supplied our own post-natal care. A good deal, but we had no time to waste.

We raced to (Marcia) Clark County General for our second estimate. The Emergency Room Appraiser allowed a $25 discount for pre-payment in unmarked bills of small denomination. With a signed release giving them full publication rights of the event, The $290,000 estimate for Childbirth, out-patient, no-frills" was quite a deal by today’s standards. During the estimate, hospital administrator, Christopher Darden, took pictures and DNA samples determined to insure, as a potential customer, we were a "good fit."

We arrived at Shapiro Memorial as Vicki’s contractions were coming a minute apart. Their $350,000 estimate for "Emergency Childbirth, Including Circumcision" was a deal, but our policy required using the lowest estimate. So, again, we raced to Clark County General with policy and three estimates in hand. But, that’s when our luck ran out.

The policy patrol stopped us doing 36 in a 35. The Officer voided our policy as Vicki started to give birth in the front seat. The Fire Department arrived and Vicki’s brother, the firefighter, was delivering the baby when... aarrrgggghhhhhh... I woke up.

Images continued to flash through my mind. I couldn’t shake the thought of a fox "managing" a hen house. There was a vision of the Unabomber as the Postmaster General. My head began to throb from the images of Saddam Hussein offering aid to Kuwait... Clinton buying land along the Colorado River... Congress passing laws... I had to get up.

Unwilling to go back to sleep after such an unnerving experience, I stepped out to get the morning paper. The headlines that morning read "Aetna Life and Casualty Co. to buy US Healthcare, Inc." The article went on to say that this would create the largest managed healthcare provider in the United States. Aetna’s President, Ronald Compton, was quoted as saying Aetna now has, "...the potential to redefine the way health care is delivered in this country."

No doubt.

Rob Wedding©1996