10) Richard Simmons becomes your permanent cellmate.

9) You're hired for the "New Kids on the Block" reunion tour.

8) Every weekend, you're hot tubbin' with Janet Reno.

7) Weekly prostate exam conducted by Freddy Kreuger.

6) You're assigned a lifetime supply of Books On Tape..done by Fran Drescher.

5) You get to review Chris Farley's thong bikini line on a daily basis.

4) Your body is shaved and dipped in Skin Bracer by Jack Palance.

3) Solitary confinement with the issue of Playboy that featured Roseanne as the centerfold.

2) You're allowed to visit every other web page except "The Funny Bone"