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Writer's note: Sometimes these topics come from the strangest things. I was at the mall the other day and saw a woman on a mall bench feeding her child. While I was gawking for a good 20 minutes, I came up with this topic. I finished the list while in the back of the mall officer's squad cart.

10) He can open your blouse on his own.

9) She puts her headphones on and her KD Lang tape in the Walkman before she starts.

8) He has a cigarette after dinner.

7) His friends are constantly asking to stay over for dinner.

6) She's learning to flick her tongue every once in a while.

5) How can I put this... they're down to your thighs already.

4) He's up all night sick due to excess silicon.

3) In between cooing, he asks if it was good for you as well.

2) He tries to pay for dinner with one dollar bills.