10) He regularly chews and swallows his whistle.

9) His primary mode of transportation is a blocking dummy.

8) He has ordered a beanball thrown at the other school's mascot before.

7) His motivational speeches are always given without wearing pants.

6) Teaches Safe Sex during Health Class by advocating the Prevent defense.

5) Tries to improve your hand/eye co-ordination by getting you to juggle grenades.

4) He gets ejected during the National Anthem.

3) He douses himself with Gatorade at the start of the game.

2) He teaches you to learn to hit by closing your eyes and "using the Force."